


you know i only wanted fun.

by withersake



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Gift Exchange, I‚ Starscream‚ Am Now Leading My Boyfriends On a Vacation, M/M, Minor Violence, Secret Solenoid, Seeker Trines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22064881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withersake/pseuds/withersake
Summary: But test Lord Megatron’s patience, Starscream most certainly did. “No,” he sniffed haughtily, having the audacity to turn his back on their fuming leader and marching out of the war room. As Starscream passed by him and Skywarp, he nodded to them and oh no oh dear oh Primus why are they getting dragged into this? Like really getting dragged into this? He was a good Thundercracker.( Or the seekers take a minor holiday and do some major bonding time with each other. )
Relationships: Skywarp/Starscream/Thundercracker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 108
Collections: Secret Solenoid '19-'20, Tfp





	you know i only wanted fun.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Roboapollo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roboapollo/gifts).



> **Pairings:** Starscream/Skywarp/Thundercracker.
> 
>  **Warnings:** Brief reference and discussion to offscreen physical violence that is typical of canon but to be safe: It starts out **“—Not even your cables?” Skywarp asked, jumping into the conversation with little grace or worry.** and you can skip to **“Oh fine,” Starscream said in defeat and pretend-disatisfaction.** if you wish to avoid that section altogether.
> 
>  **General Notes:** Part of the Secret Solenoid Exchange 2019! I hope you like your gift, RoboApollo. Like all good and fluffy things, this is set before 2005 in the timeline of OG G1 Transformers continuity. No robot plants voring Earth here, folks, no siree.
> 
>  **Current Notes:** The prompt is as follows: _G1: Starscream/Skywarp/Thundercracker: seekers spa day._

Though he’ll never admit it — especially to Reflector, the brazen _gossip/s_ — Thundercracker had… developed an appreciation for some of Earth’s elements.

Nothing gross like the animals (yuck) or asinine as their media (no matter how much Skywarp will beg him to watch _As the Kitchen Sinks_ during downtime) but he did appreciate the fact that their turn of phrases had a certain charm to them.

A very basic charm since their languages weren’t as complex or clever as Cybertronian dialects, sure, but they had a few good ones at their disposal. Some that almost had him chuckling now and then whenever he recalled the phrases or lines. Things like being stuck in a pickle or how the cat was out of the bag.

Simple, yet funny, little lines like those really did help keep him amused and distracted as he and Skywarp were forced to weather through one of Lord Megatron’s berating of Starscream with them as the unfortunate proxies. (For a mech who kept crossing their leader, Starscream had an unnatural talent in getting away with it, time and again. To bad his talent didn’t seem to extend towards his trine when they were caught in the crossfires.)

At that moment, as he and Skywarp found themselves much too close to the blast radius of Lord Megatron and Starscream’s latest fallout, Thundercracker thought the phrase _the straw that broke the camel’s back_ would be appropriate for what was happening.

Or, perhaps in that particularly specific case, it should be changed into _the plan that broke Starscream’s patience (if any was to exist in the first place)._

“—and I’ll keep saying **_no._** ” Starscream stood his ground, raising his chin up in a haughty, defiant fashion. “Do you need your audials reset? I refuse to join in this charade and so will my seekers.”

Lord Megatron’s darkening expression was an interesting one to observe when you’re not at the receiving end of it. Kind of like how forest fires were fun to watch from the far, far distance. Thundercraker had no idea optics could glow that bright when the mech was angry enough. “Are you defying me, Starscream? Do you really think you can skip out on one of my plans? A plan I shall personally lead?”

Thundercracker winced at the less than subtle threat that lurked in Lord Megatron’s words but Starscream refused to be cowed by anyone, spark be damned when it's his pride at stake.

“I know and, to be frank, Lord Megatron, it’s why I refuse to let myself and my seekers participate in this fool hardy scheme of yours. We are not going to be involved in this whatsoever if I can help it.”

“Starscream, you fool! This plan will guarantee—”

“Another round of humiliation for us!” Starscream gestured to the plans that had been placed on the wall, looking at the schematics with clear disgust before turning back to Lord Megatron. “The humans don’t take us seriously! Do you know that, oh wise leader? They think us as nothing more as fools and you’re not making it any better by— Gah! Look at this! Look! You’re just building a large crane to try and snatch up Optimus Prime in.” He then made another gesture to one of the Constructicons and was basically flailing at this point. “A crane! We already have a crane! That’s what Long Haul is for!”

“Poor Star,” Skywarp stage whispered to Thundercracker. He was barely able to hide his snicker as he continued to talk: “It’s actually Mixmaster who’s the crane.”

… ‘Warp was so obviously pleased with himself that Thundercracker didn’t dare mention that it’s actually Scrapper who was the crane.

“—Don’t you dare defy me, Starscream!” The chilliness in Lord Megatron’s voice drew the two seekers back to the fight before them, remembering the times they were at the receiving end of such a tone. No one wanted to be at the receiving end of that one. “I’ve shown you mercy too many times in the past and let you live. Do not test my patience at this time.”

But test Lord Megatron’s patience, Starscream most certainly did. “No,” he sniffed haughtily, having the audacity to turn his back on their fuming leader and marching out of the war room. As Starscream passed by him and Skywarp, he nodded to them and oh no oh dear oh Primus why are they getting dragged into this? Like really getting dragged into this? He was a good Thundercracker.

“My trine and I are going on a much, much needed vacation,” Starscream announced; the way he worded it made it very clear he was making a statement and not asking for approval. “I shall my leave responsibilities and everything that comes with it to the trine leader of the coneheads, Dirge.”

Dirge, who had been noisily guzzling his ration of energon for the duration of the fight, stopped to look at Starscream with a confused look on his energon-smeared face. “Buh?”

“Smart mech,” Starscream cooed in mocking assurance, patting Dirge’s cheek as he strolled out of the command room in a casual trot. “I’m sure Lord Megatron is in good hands, as the humans would say. Seekers! To me! We’re going on a vacation.”

Skywarp and Thundercracker couldn’t transform and fly after their trinemate fast enough.

———————————————————————————

Another thing Earth had that Thundercracker liked was the fact humans weren’t advanced enough to completely conquer the skies. Not yet, at least. With no aerial ways or trackers placed up in the clouds, it meant the seekers, more or less, had free rein over how they fast they flew and how they flew. It’s nice for Thundercracker to be able to stretch out his wings and not worry about clipping another jet or, Primus forbid, a _helicopter_. (The _worst_ , in Thundercracker’s opinion.)

But something still nagged in the back of Thundercracker’s computing processors, taking up more space in his computation program than he’d like to admit. “Are you sure about this, Starscream? Won’t we be in trouble with Lord Megatron over this?”

“Lord Megatron,” Starscream repeated, mockingly so. Thundercracker wasn’t sure how Starscream shook his wings so derisively while in altmode but he had. “ _Bah!_ You make him sound so important, Thundercracker. ”

Thundercracker had felt his plating attempt to ruffle in instinctive agitation for his leader’s honour. He held back from doing so due to the fact he was in altmode. “He _is_ our leader, Starscream. We have to answer to him at the end of the day.” And, to keep Starscream from going on a rant at the reminder of the food chain, Thundercracker threw out a pacifying truth in the end: “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Starscream fell quiet — _miracle of miracles!_ , as Donna would have obnoxiously gasped on Skywarp’s silly show — while he mulled over what had been said.

“… Don’t get too soft on me, Thundercracker,” Starscream finally said, his voice filled with derision and something kinder, possibly. “Next thing I know you’ll be interested in those ridiculous shows of Skywarp.”

As Starscream increased his speed, leaving a protesting Skywarp and a surprised Thundercracker sputtering in his jet trails, Thundercracker had to bite back an amused snort as he hurried to catch up with his trinemate.

———————————————————————————

Yellowstone National Park, U.S. was, in theory, not supposed to be considered spa for Cybertronians. If trawling through the humans’ painfully primitive multinet system was to be believed, it was their cute attempt to create wildlife preservation that also acted as some sort of recreation centre and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Point is— It’s not supposed to be but now it was. It took a mere juggling of the park rangers and harassing of the wildlife to get most of the Earthlings and animals out of the area, leaving a particularly lucrative spot to call their very own for the impromptu vacation.

(After they had to blast a few craters on the ground to divert the geysers’ water to rig their own makeshift heating pools to relax in.

Ugh. _Barbaric_. Much as he didn’t envy Shockwave’s position of sole commander of the Decepticon strongholds back on Cybertron, at least he had proper access to oil bathhouses.)

Though he’ll never admit it, Thundercracker was a little concerned that the boohooing humans they had chased off would cause the Autobots to come after them. The last thing he wanted was the little red Bumblebee clone trying to jump on his bolts again.

Yet Starscream was so certain they wouldn’t come. At least for a little while.

“How are you so sure?” Thundercracker can’t help but poke at the state of confidence Starscream displayed, feeling like it was his job as the Sensible Trinemate to make sure their impromptu vacation wasn’t ruined by something stupid like the little red Bumblebee clone trying to jump on his bolts again.

“Because _Lord Megatron_ is leading this latest circus act, Thundercracker!” Starscream stretched out his limbs, shaking out his limbs after such a long time in altmode to get to their destination. “Of course Optimus is going to haul all his friends and little human pets into that mess of a plot. We’ll be fine for a few hours, at the very least.”

“How do you know Optimus is going to take the bait?”

Starscream gave him a look, one he usually reserved for the coneheads if they so much vented the same air as him. “Do you really think the great Optimus Prime won’t try and save the poor little cows from getting abducted by the big bad Decepticons?”

… Well. Starscream certainly has a point there, doesn’t he?

Before either could add anything to the conversation, Skywarp broke the mild tension in the air by running through the geysers just as they erupted and he let out an excited **_whoop!_** when sprays of hot water splashed against his frame. Thanks to the unique hydrogeological conditions of this planet, the geysers’ eruptions magically washed off the accumulated dirt and dust on Skywarp’s frame, revealing the shade of purple it was actually meant to be.

Skywarp tried to take advantage of their vacation by allowing his armour to relax against his frame, unaware of the fact Thundercracker was chasing after him. Upon seeing a chance being presented to him, Thundercrack took it with both hands and pounced on Skywarp.

“ ** _Hey!_** ”

Thundercracker hung on for dear life while Skywarp tried to slap him away. He smacked the flailing servos away and dug his fingers under the armour. He began to shift debris and worse that the water couldn’t wash off, knowing how it could rub raw the cables and mass beneath if left to fester there.

“W-Whoa there! Stop that!” Skywarp couldn’t keep the look of offence up for long. Not with how his field prickled with delight and amusement at the feeling of clever, nimble fingers soothe irritated seam lines. “Watch the thrusters, ‘Cracker! That tickles!”

“It wouldn’t tickle as much if you actually cleaned out your seams more often.” Thundercrack soon found himself regretting his good deed when he felt his fingers catching on something dry yet, paradoxically, sticky and _bouncy_. “Yuck! Is this weird goop that thing Prowl shot us with back at New Mexico? That was months ago.”

Skywarp’s shifty expression and unanswer was enough for Thundercracker, who was thoroughly grossed out but determined to wash the debris from their trinemate. “Starscream! Help! Get over here while the geysers are still running hot!”

After he clearly weighed the options of which trinemate he could make suffer more with action (or inaction), Starscream, in the end, opted to throw his lot in with Thundercracker and also pounced on a squawking Skywarp to really clean out the seams. It was a tall feat for them to face, mostly thanks to both the constant use Skywarp’s powers during missions and their terribly organic terrain.

But with time and skill and perseverance (and some forceful manoeuvring of Skywarp over one of the geysers to get the more stubborn of the bits out of him with the force of the water) the pair had managed to pull it off and had a grumpier and cleaner Skywarp in their grip.

Thundercracker had just pulled back to admire his handiwork when he felt Starscream’s servos all over his frame now, long fingers now curling overexposed seams and gaps. “Ack! Star!” Suddenly sympathetic to Skywarp from a few seconds ago, Thundercracker tried to (ineffectually) bat Starscream’s servos away from him. He almost tripped over a geyser in the process but he’s not going down without a fight. “You got to warn a mech when you’re touching his cockpit.”

“Hush, you overgrown fledgling.” Steamrolling Thundercracker’s will like he did with most Decepticons he dealt in his life, Starscream began testing out the integrity of Thundercracker’s plating, yanking and flexing the armour to see how it would yield under his touch. Judging by the shimmering of his field, Starscream was not impressed. “Bah! You haven’t gotten any of these aligned and tightened in months. What’s the point of that medic if he can’t do a simple tuneup like this?”

Thundercracker suddenly found the ground very interesting to look at, admiring the way all the rocks and beige and browns looked the same. “It’s actually been a while. Maybekindofpossiblydefinitelydon’tkillme overdue?” He paused, gauging Starscream’s unreaction, and tried to hurry the last bit too, “By,like,anEarthyear?”

Starscream lived up to his name when his vocaliser somehow calibrated to a new pitch neither he nor Skywarp had never had heard before: “ ** _New frames, the lot of you! How did we survive millennia of war with how you act?_** ” It was kind of amazing to Thundercracker that he could still hear Starscream over a geyser shooting at that exact moment but, hey, that’s Starscream for you.

While he continued to rant and mutter under his breath, Starscream began to recalibrate and tighten Thundercracker’s plating, ensuring it won’t rattle and shake if he used his sonic blasts during a battle. Starscream did his best to be gentle the entire time, his claws never once pricking or scratching the delicate wires and cables that the armour protected. “—and to think I’m considered _lucky_ to call you two my trinemates since, by the will of some unfeeling deity out there, you’re the only sensible candidates to be mates with!”

Skywarp (the traitor!), who had saddled up to a squirming Thundercracker to keep him from running away, frowned at the comment/part of the rant. “Why not bother with Acid Storm then? Or Sunstorm?”

“Who?”

There’s his answer, Thundercracker guessed.

When Starscream was finally _done_ manhandling him and his armour, Thundercracker, being the Sensible Trinemate, was willing to admit Starscream’s papering _worked_ ; his armour hasn’t felt this well-fitting or comfortable since arriving their arrival here. He stretched out his limbs and didn’t feel afraid at the thought of his joints creaking or cables getting pinched. “Thanks, Star. You’re the best.”

“I think I deserve more than that, you know,” Starscream scoffed while cycling his optics. He launched into yet another rant, never realising his encroaching trinemates sneaking closer and closer to his frame: “Perhaps use of more glowing words to emphasise my selfless nature or a guarantee you’ll back me up when I attempt to overthrow Lord Megatron or _what are you doing, Thundercracker!_ ”

“Come on, Star. You got handsy with me and helped me out. I still got to be a good trinemate to fulfil my end of the bargain.” Thundercracker pulled back from his attempted massage to waggle his fingers over Starscream’s face at the risk of Star trying to bite them off. (And Starscream actually did try to bite them, **wow**. (Huh. Why does this remind him of the little red Bumblebee clone?)) “You know how this goes: Skywarp was cared for and I was cared for. It’s _your_ turn to be cared for, Starscream.”

Starscream huffed and crossed his arms, unimpressed. “There’s nothing that needs to be done, you fool. Unlike you and Skywarp, I make sure everything about my frame is in fighting shape since I must lead by example.” He raised his nose up into the air and crossed his arms over his chassis, looking every inch of a dignified flier of Vos while a geyser erupted and splashed water over his face. “Nothing is in need of repairs. Nothing.”

“—Not even your cables?” Skywarp asked, jumping into the conversation with little grace or worry.

It was rare to ever get the drop on Starscream, be it the figurative or literal sense. He had always been an alert and paranoid mech, rightfully so with how often he tried to run coups or uprisings against Lord Megatron since the civil took a turning back all those vorns ago.

So, to Thundercraker, it was… weird to see him stiffen up the way he was in that moment. His posture straightening and his wings flaring in a subtle display of threat.

Starscream looked over to his trinemates, a flicker of something come and go his face. “I didn’t think—”

“Would care?” / “Would know?” Thundercracker and Skywarp said at the same time. Who said what was a mystery but what wasn’t the mystery were the genuine looks of concern and surprise on their face. The two looked at each other, wondering who should go first and what should be said.

“You’re the Sensible one,” Skywarp said in the end, gesturing for Thundercracker to keep talking. Thanks, Skywarp.

“… Of course we’d notice.” Thundercracker did his best to not sound mocking or dismissive, knowing how it could look to Starscream after what he’s endured. “It’s hard to not notice it. And… Despite it all… You’re still our tinemate, Star. We want to take care of you. We don’t want you hurt.”

Silence passed. Geysers erupted around them. Starscream mulled over the words for a good while, leaving his trinemates to look at one another with uncertainty. Had Thundercracker chosen the right words? Would Starscream clam up and insist he didn’t need help? What will they do no—

“Oh _fine_ ,” Starscream said in defeat and pretend-disatisfaction. “I suppose even I need to be looked after and I know better than to look an energon cube's filtered screens.” He shrugged and pretended to not look touched at the turn of events. “You may help me if you want.”

Allowing the display of ego to slide, Thundercracker gave a waiting Skywarp a nod and the two of them descended on their trinemate, tackling the stressed and taut supporting cables with a gentleness that a Hound would envy.

———————————————————————————

But like all good things, their vacation at their makeshift spa had to come to an end.

And, like all terrible things, it started when Thundercracker and Starscream were forced to endure Skywarp’s breathless recap of _As the Kitchen Sinks_ latest Donna-Gordon Affair Saga, Part Nine.

“—and that plot twist was that Donna _faked_ her affair with Gordon! I don’t **need** to gasp or anything but I **had** to gasp when that was revealed. Not only did it meant that Jack was aware of Sheryl hiding the will, it meant Gordon’s twin brother Gordo was actually Gordy and oh— Hey— Why’s the ground rumbling?”

It took Thundercracker a second too long to realise that Skywarp wasn’t narrating the latest saga of _As the Kitchen Sinks_ and it took him another second too long to also wonder why the ground was rumbling. He sat up from the pool and looked towards the direction of the sound.

He had to reset his optics a few times because the sight before him was ridiculous to even for his standards. “… I think that’s Lord Megatron.” He leaned forward as if that would make the scene before him make more sense. It was hard to tell what’s happening before him, given the way the two gestalts kept getting in his line of sight now and then. “I think— No— I see he has Optimus Prime in the basket of his giant crane. His plan with the cows and the crane _worked_.”

“Ugh,” Starscream said, already unhappy at the gloating he’d face from Lord Megatron when they regrouped. “Of course they would have the battle here. Of course.” He muttered something under his breath and Thundercracker couldn’t quite pick it up. Something amongst the lines of ‘there aren’t even enough cows here!’

…

“Star?”

“Yes?”

“Are we going to help?” Thundercracker knew what the answer would be and yet something compelled him to ask. Something something insanity repeating stuff something. (Like trying to remember the name of the little red Bumblebee clone.)

“No,” Starscream said with confidence, leaning back into his pool and dimming his optics to both avoid the sight of Superion and Devastator getting into a slap fight and to give himself plausible deniability when his decision inevitably backfired on him. “Nothing is getting me out of this pool. Nothing.”

Except Skywarp, leaning forward a bit to get a better view, made a casual comment, “—I think Lord Megatron fell out off the control pit.”

That got Starscream’s attention. He immediately shot out of the pool, shaking the excess water off his frame while a certain acquisitional gleam had begun to glimmer in his optics.

Thundercracker sighed but it was with mostly affection as he stood up from his pool and gestured a grumbling Skywarp to follow suit. “So I take it that vacation time over? I was liking the fact we got to hang out as, you know, trinemates and not comrades.”

“Don’t get too soft on me, Thundercracker,” Starscream answered, his voice filled with derision and something kinder, possibly. “Our vacation is merely stalled for now. When I’m the leader of the Decepticons, I assure you we’ll get our dues.” Starscream flicked the remaining droplets of water on his winglets, standing tall and proud and confident of his words. “Now seekers— Engage! Megatron has fallen! **_I, Starscream, am now—_** “

Though he’ll never admit it, Thundercracker laughed bright and happy as he transformed to follow his trinemate up, up, and up into the sky.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a heck of a 2019 but I hope the year head of us is kinder and rewarding for all your good deeds, past and present! Happy new year!


End file.
